I’m in my 40’s and I’m Pregnant!

Sometimes God blesses us in ways we never expected! I remember the day I fell that jolt of what I know to be morning sickness. I immediately thought my mind must be playing tricks on me, but I had to make sure, so I took a pregnancy test and it turned out positive. Stop! I’m frozen. I think I just kept staring at the test in disbelief, while my husband was ecstatic and also taking in the news. I was flooded with an array of many thoughts all at once and was in shock for quite a while. This changes everything, I’m starting over again and I have no baby gear because I have it all away years ago!

The Lord had ripped up the plans I had in place and completely written up an entirely new set of plans! This wasn’t just a detour, this was a road block and a brand new road to tread on! Have you ever been in that situation? Perhaps it didn’t involve a pregnancy, but a tragic event that came suddenly, a life altering event that you felt left you in shock and you don’t know where to go from that point?

Well, I had to process my situation and think. On one hand, I was so thankful for a baby, a new life, but God’s timing just didn’t match up with mine. It never has, to be honest. That is just another way God tells us that He is in control, not us. I immediately thought of Mary and what an amazing response she had, she immediately praised God and asked His will and purpose to be fulfilled in her life. After Gabriel showed up and told her God’s will and plan for her life, “Mary answered, ‘Iam the Lord’s servant. Let everything you’ve said happen to me” Luke 1:38. Powerful. Yet, why couldn’t my reaction have been equally as good as Mary’s? This is why God picked Mary and not a woman like myself to be the Mother of Jesus. I would’ve probably argued with Gabriel and requested a meeting with God to make sure he got the right girl for the job!

I started reflecting on two of the most dramatic pregnancies in the Bible. The two that stand out are those of Mary and Sarah. Two absolute opposite extremes! On one hand, you have Mary, which scholars believe to have been as young as fourteen years old and Sarah being ninety. In Mary’s case, her life was just beginning, she was in a marriage contact (which is what a Biblical Galilean betrothal was). The spiritual marriage certificate had been signed and confirmed by many witnesses, but the physical consummation, would not occur until a year later, after Joseph would’ve prepared a home for them to live in and consummate the marriage. It would sound “crazy” to everyone she would tell, so she clearly only told her Husband, Joseph. She knew people would talk, ostricize her and she faced the possibility that Joseph would divorce her and have her stoned to death because he would assume she cheated in him and stoning was the punishment in those days. But she trusted God’s plans, as crazy as they might sound.

Sarah was ninety years old and had already taken matters into her own hands about fifteen years earlier. She was “helping God out” because she grew tired of waiting for His timing. In her case, it wasn’t an Angel, but two that showed up and the Lord Himself (a Cristophany in the Bible). After she was told the news, she laughed. She was scolded for laughing, even though she denied it to the Lord’s face! She didn’t trust God’s timing, nor His plans or purpose for their lives, but blessed her despite her doubt and disobedience.

God truly says that, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,” declares the LORD” Isaiah 55:8. I could immediately sense God was asking me, “Well?” He was revealing my trust issues to me, at that very moment. Isn’t that the case for so many of us that question God’s timing and purpose? Mary completely trusted God, I was more like Sarah, Abraham’s wife. I had already made my plans and this was a shocking halt to all of it.

After the Lord worked on my heart, I thanked Him and submitted to His will for my life and asked Him for forgiveness. Then, the Corona virus hit and I immediately went into a panic! What if this? What if that?! Well, God reassured me that my whole situation is in His hands, good or bad. This child is “on loan” to me, but He was entrusting me with this child and His hands are the safest place in the universe, how could I doubt that our Him? He gave me “His peace that surpasses all understanding “and He is “guarding my heart and mind” in the process Philippians 4:7. He is either Lord of all areas of our lives or He isn’t because we’re not allowing Him to be.

So, if you find yourself in an extremely difficult situation, you feel confused by Gods timing and purpose for your life, just surrender to Him. He is sovereign and in control. His plans are always good even if they don’t agree with yours or the culture or your family. Trust only in Him because you can. He will never lead you astray and will be present with you through it all.

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